Write like nobody is reading ...

Easier said than done.

I knew when I began a public blog it would mean

this corner of my life would be open to the world.

Knowing this, I've kept my corner rather quiet,

as in I don't tell many people I even have a blog.
I have a handful of followers and it feels just right.

I document for own enjoyment (and memory!),

and I've been fearful that if I share with people I have this writing refuge,

I will have expectations ...
1.)  That they read it : )

2.) I may alter how I write based on who reads it.

I work in mental health and my role and relationship with clients

is very unique - sometimes confusingly unique.

It's a twist of a relationship with someone (client)

sharing their innermost feelings and thoughts with a person (therapist)

who shares very little about him/herself.

It's mind-boggling at times, but this is why it works!

Sometimes it feels odd to me, sitting in a living room-like

setting, my client possibly talking about the very same things I 

think about or struggle with, and have it not

fall into a conversation.  Of course it does at times,

and it's okay, but it can feel like we are both swimming against 

a tide of what feels natural.

Since I have a public blog, I've thought of the 

scenario of my client stumbling upon it.
How would I feel about it?

Nothing too jarring came up for me, 

until it happened.

Then I felt vulnerable, angry and scared.

Not in a way of putting me in danger,

but having someone "watching" made me very uncomfortable,

especially when this client said some hurtful things

related to my children and marriage.

Some clients find it so difficult to not have a reciprocal (you share, I share)
relationship in therapy.  They search and search for "answers" and bypass the
most powerful and most healthy route to obtaining information about me.
Asking me.

This scenario could have went very differently and potentially

blossomed into something deeply therapeutic.

Since it didn't, I chose to end my blog and begin again.

After the waves of unsettledness, I have a newfound sense that 

a new blog could actually be empowering.

A rock in my path isn't going to cause me to turn 

around or trip and fall.  

I will walk around it and move forward!